failures....

I love my life..
i love these small small changes in my life which teach me such big lessons in life..
but, here i don't know that why does one has to go through a failure to learn something big..
i know that these failures are inevitable and act as a catalyst towards one's success but, why only me??
i mean why do i have to learn everything and others get everything so easily??
am i GOd's favourite child??
ha! i think this is the best way to soothe oneself.
but, should i believe it?? trust me, i really don't know!!
i think those who get everything very easily-they are god's favourite child! definitely not me.
i know that with these small failures i can achieve something really big, but, what about that temporary depression which i have to go through??
Doesn't God see that?? doesn't he see that his so called"favourite child" is in pain and need some reassurance that everything will go fine in her life. i am tired of fighting with this pain and depression. i want to just get out of it.
no matter how many fake smiles i give no matter how many fake laughs i deliver no matter how optimistic i try to potray myself... but, from inside i know what i am going through...
people say- don't be scared of failure just do your best and leave the rest...
i think its all crappy.. what do you expect from me??
i should work really hard to achieve something and then later on when i don't get it, i should forget it and move ahead?? really??
is it that easy to forget??
well, these questions will keep bothering me and i don't know that when will i get the answers to them.. but, as for now i just know one thing and that is- its my life and i have to live it!!